and Megan. Dad and Carson, I know yours are coming too! Hope you all
have/had a fabulous day and had a lot of really good cake 🎂 and
presents 🎁
This week has been okay. Sister Vizaco and I work hard all week and it
seems nothing is happening. Or at least from what we can see. I'm sure
there is loads going on in the background that we are oblivious to.
But the surface is really rough. It has really made me question the
type of missionary I am, if I work hard enough, am I obedient, do I
listen to the spirit enough?
I read this really great talk though, about waiting upon the Lord. And
it is pretty clear. God is trying to teach us to be humble and
patient. There is a scripture that I feel resounds with me so
perfectly. This is Nephi speaking,
"Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in
showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O
wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh;
my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins
which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my
sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." 2 Nephi 4:17-19
A lot of this week I have wondered if this is happening because I did
something wrong. Or I don't do enough."
But then again, I watched this Mormon Message called "The Refiner's
Fire" and there are a couple of things that the lady says that really
helped.
" It's not always about us. We're not going through this because we
need to change, or we're not good enough. I became someone more
capable of helping others and having compassion..."
"To me its like Newton's law. For every action there is an equal and
opposite reaction. Equal and opposite. So I think the greater our
sorrow is, the greater our capacity is to feel joy."
- Kim Martin
God knows that we are imperfect. He knew long before we made the
mistakes that we have and will make. And it is okay. This life is not
a test to see what grade of righteousness we can get. It is to change
us to be more like the Savior. Not to decide whether or not we can
make it into heaven, but to make us heavenly people. And I know that I
am becoming more patient and humble through these challenges. I don't
like it but I am thankful for the opportunity to show God my trust in
him.
I am so thankful for the resource that we have. The scriptures and the
gospel library. Conference talks and hymns! And there is so much more!
We truly live in a blessed time!
Love you all and hope you have a good week! Remember, in whom you have trusted!
Love,
Sister Lisa Haynie!
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